Something is Wrong

You know when there is something going on but you are unable to pinpoint exactly what it is. You just pass it off as normal, due to you being overweight, tired, sick, or something along that line.

Looking back

This is from a present viewpoint and I have more sight now than I did then. Now that I know what is wrong looking back I can see all the things I was experiencing were the cause of a certain thing. What do I mean? Let me explain.

My mother

During this time I had lost my mother and that add stress into my life. I felt guilty that I didn’t do enough to help her out. I didn’t listen to her. I watched her go downhill for about a year and I wasn’t sure what to do. She was declining more and more. Yes, this most likely contributed to my weight gain. I eat when I am depressed, so I was eating and eating.

I developed shingles due to all the stress of losing my mother. Now, what am I going to do? This would be the second time I got them and it just sucks big time. I felt like the whole world was on my shoulders.

Issues

I started to have some issues in my daily life, with the passing of my mother. The stress was just so intense. I got shingles I was in so much pain. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t very well beforehand.

My mom was in charge of my Uncle’s estate, he was in charge of my other uncle’s estate, who passed away back in 2009, his wife, my aunt, 2 months later. My dad passed away in June of 2009. Anyway, with my mom passing on, that meant that we the trustees of her estate was in charge of not only hers, my aunts and uncle, who passed away. Plus my uncle’s was still alive, but he was declining fast. Trying to my find my cousin, the only child of my aunt and uncle, who went missing.

So as you can see my life was in a complete mess and my job was adding more stress to it.

I started to see some things happening in my life that I just passed off as nothing.

Like what?

Going to my son’s football game and climbing stairs and being dizzy. Standing there on the bleachers and having a friend grab me since I was about to fall due to being dizzy.

Always in a daze, always more tired than normal. I just thought I was sick. It was that time of year. Just passed it off. However, I was getting dizzy more and more but I just figured it was lack of sleep, overweight.

I had a rash on my leg, not sure if it was due to the shingles I got when my mom passed away and it was just sticking around. Little did I know that this would cause my life to change directions. BIG TIME!!